Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just saw a hot homeless man
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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