So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
