also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Sober January is a disaster.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
