Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
