Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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