We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
