he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
