I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
