so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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