You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
