ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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