I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
