I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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