38 yer olds are good kisserssss
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
