I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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