Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Michael Bay diarrhea
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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