Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
