I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
