census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
