I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
