Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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