How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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