His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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