In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
