I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
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