all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
