Whod you bang
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Shitshow foam night was such a success
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
