I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
