So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
