Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
