I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
