well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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