Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
