I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
