What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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