We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
