I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
