Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
love makes seman taste better
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
