I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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