Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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