we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Little spoons don't ask big questions
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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