Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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