My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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