You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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