So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
