you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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