In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
