nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
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if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
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My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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