I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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