so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
