I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
