whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
