I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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