oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
