He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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