He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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