FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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