Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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