Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
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If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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