Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
