Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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