I only kidnapped one of them. chill
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
