Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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