I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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