Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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