Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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