You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
